haha

was praying so desperately hard for a simple song to learn to make it 4 songs to sing as required. the song which i wanted to sleep after hearing became the simplest song and thus fulfilled the 4-song requirement! woohoo!

reflections

pretty much a lot since so many has happened

something unexpected happened to my health which took a turn for the bad. Perhaps i'm forced to do so to stop myself from overindulging in too many things. But it's not fair when i want to have some fun too.

aargh

mini-concert

i'm skeptical reading the announcement of St Mary of the Angels' choral presentation "..first ever angelic choral presentation..!"

angelic? the only 'angelic' choir i heard was the Archdiocese's choir!!! but i guess since St Mary's have a music director whom i saw was correcting the cantors in singing-prounciations in every detail and there are cantors who have improved a lot after that i guess it would be better than before

but it's really cool that Friar Derrick's gonna sing for the choral presentation after his awesome performace at Kampong Nite, i guess most of the parshioners can never get enough of that! :D

a comment

which is very common that got me thinking

"why don't you do it yourself and then talk about it"

i'd realised i'm guilty of saying that as well but after these words directed me made me realise that  some of the comments from those who can't do what i can do yet still make remarks about it are worth reflecting about instead of retort. i hear people who aren't in Church choir, "The choir/cantor cannot sing lah!" Of course the next reaction would be, "You go sing lah."

Most of the "That choir/cantor cannot sing lah!" cannot sing. They really sing off-pitch, some even tone-deaf but  they can appreciate the essence of music. They appreciate the demands its essence - perhaps the core of its existence! - thus express in their own way although not technically nor in detail.

not every remark must be taken into consideration. not that i can hold back to "bad" comments. it's really how at peace one is with oneself that the person grows into understanding and maturity and learns that one is able to distinguish what's to be or not to be taken into reflection

maybe it's the weather..

i get depressed at extreme high and low temperatures..

but what i'm dealing with right now is how am i going to survive 3 days half-alone

what's more in my mind is...i duno..i wanna make new friends but ends up in..nothing. i'd realised i've nothing to offer, really nothing. i've tried again and again "hey let's go out some time." they go "okay." but really they are in their own world. they dun call me out. they rarely reach out. guess they'd be better off without me.

everyone wants to belong to a group of friends to share and enjoy. i still want that. but it doesn't happen to me. perhaps it's because of my lack of confidence or i've known those - in the end - i don't belong to my new friends' perference of interests

i've lost all condfidence in singing too, i can't sing like i used to..perhaps it's bcos i'm pinning my hopes on just one genre only. i hope one day i have the confidence to sing what i wanna sing on stage..

i've too much on my mind perhaps..

?2

according to shops it's the Christmas season

but why don't i feel Christmas-y?

?

it's a big challenge to explain my drawings and poetry to my counsellor cos i've never explained to anyone before. i guess as an artist one has to be able to tell people about your work, perhaps to let them know a little more about yourself.

my counsellor also gave me a book. It was written by a person of a different religion but it's universal. Again i'm challenged by "Catholicism being the deepest and closest ever to God". Every religion has its "exterior" but the core of living seems to echo in similarity from one orthodox religion to another - i understand what he means but i may have misinterpreted from his exact words. i really wonder at that. i dare not join any inter-religious dialouge for fear i may lead myself astray from my own faith. This challenge i have yet to explore more about it, perhaps when i have the time after my exams.