thank u

thank u for the "present"! although ironic, but haha, i'm glad the real thing starts soon X3 but i never knew i could really do it, and if i may be so bold, i want to believe that it's thanks to everyone who cares for me that i can do what i could never do years ago

requests

sometimes my heart goes out to even immature requests - but being adult i have the right to say no

found

depression, emptiness - enemy's tatics. The moment this was revealed to me i was full of life, i was able to move, excitment fills my heart again and i found meaning in life

but now i'm back to relax-mode

must be the weather...

simplicity

i don't know when i came across a story about a couple of whom one of them said, "After all (the bad) that has happened, i won't pursue much (and agree with the lead character) and decided to live nothing but (for and) in simplicity."

there has been so many "why can't i have this", "why can't i go here n there", "why am i down to this", so many things i wanna buy and have but i can't, to have a lifestyle like my friends are having but i can't

a thought came to my mind "(yah, say if u have done it, gone there, done that, have that) den wat?"

i realised all the frustration of my desires - at the end, there is a stop. A stop of dark emptiness. That doesn't promise a sense of real fulfilment, a sense of wholeness - my spirit dies at the stop - the stop is a dead end

i thank God for this moment after all my weeks of screaming n craving - this one short moment that stops everything in my head after so many weeks of "eruption". i've woken up.

at this point of time when i cannot afford things that i want, the lifestyle i want i put them aside

i want to move on - properly - to see the simple, wisdom-filled side of what life is meant to be

woah

surprisingly i said, "no" again n again no matter how much i was persuaded. i didn't want to do it. i duno y. but i felt really strong after that.

n also i guess i'm too $@#$ stressed. There's too much in my mind.

event

better to faster come den to drag/wait for another week

Da..

without You i can never move on..

one night of insomnia

has set me thinking about so many things...

i'm feeling a little better although plaughed by weird dreams

what i've been looking forward to...has started...i hope all goes well..

for that one moment in life

there was love
i felt no pain no sorrow

for that one moment in life
i feel love
i felt loved

for that moment in life
i could smile from my heart


for that one moment in life
i could See


for that one moment in life
i could Stand on my own
and not be lonely

for that one moment in life
although small
i felt Holiness
so Holy that i could not touch

for that one moment in life
i feel loved

i will never forget
should i do
i want to be
reminded

cry

i need you

forever

oh

i thought, "Later must prepare for 5pm...""

it was then i remembered today's Thursday, not Friday

although it's over

i did something bad during exam. whatever the reason was, it was still bad. i thank the great four for all you've told me

if Tezuka Kunimitsu is really alive, in the real world, i don't tink he'd ever do that

zette will never do it again

yurusan

comfort

i ask myself why am i doing for them...do i expect real or fleeting thanks in return or none at all? i know one doesn't

the only One who understands and i can relate to for this is you

hmm..

finally the quiet one inside of me has taken over much - really thankful for that bcos it opens a door to things i've never thought before and realised

this period has been a trying period: being 'twisted' around but for the better, some near-nervous-breakdown states, whole new transitions in getting used to new - restricted, frustrating, low-end - gadgets (my mind's made up...switching to Apple when i have the means! Ben will be happy to hear this!)

but through it all i am thankful and blessed to have all these, and again to those who unceasingly have been with me all these years and some pushing me beyond wat i thought i never could have and achieve

this Lent

has turned out to be one of the most interesting Lenten seasons ever

i've been tried and tested beyond my box, mentally-painfully again and again, through many breakdowns, complains and outbursts

i'm slowly beginning to understand why i'm being asked to do things that are out of my box

i'm slowly seeing more of my barrier being broken down by people who have been seeing the potential in me..these are actually strengths that i'm not aware of

but it's because i'm willing to move, surprisingly even when i'm so dang relunctant to, in almost any situation

i've changed to be more outgoing within

Praying really works

i've so much to thank for

Da :3

ramblings

life still goes on after all the celebrations - employees go back to work and students go back to school.

students may say to me, "Wow, how i wish i'm like u studying at home, no need to stay in school, no need to work for almost the whole day"

i have my woes. i have too much to study. being a slow learner i use a lot of techniques to study to catch up. These techniques take me the whole day that i haven't been able to really touch my notes yet.

well, u could say i have the luxury of staying at home from ur point of view, which i will nod my head about this

everyone has problems although one would say to another "i dun have this problem but i have that problem" if u lay them all out with the people u spoke with, one would realise everyone has the same "weight of problem"

preparation

I NEED CONFESSION!!!!!!!!

it's not easy

to "lighten up", "open up" and "let in new people" even "let in" new perspectives cos of issues about oneself are needed to be attended to first before the wall can be brought down


but if one gives oneself time to reflect without retort, usually revelation about the good about oneself is revealed and it's up to one to either face it or shun it. To face it is a step for oneself. To give heaps of excuses to shun it - well, see the above

seems like a never ending cycle then. sounds cliche but why not end this vicious endless cycle by facing it

there are

so many people to thank for

i didn't realised until i wrote a testimony

wow

change

i think i know why i hate homework

do you know how most parents press obligations on us and drive us to the wall with their expectations and obligations? it's not their fault - it's a high possiblity that their parents did the same to them too thus the misconception of obligation

maybe if obligation is done and taught in a positive manner without using comparision kids will accept homework as a means of revision, a progress to the biggie = exam, constant revision will help them to pass their exam and able to - in a gamer's term - level up

as for us adults, perhaps we'll just say to the negative thought, "it's not logical" and be willing to throw that negative thought away despite the past that we'd gone through which may be still alive in our minds, causing us to live in the past instead of the present - here and now

haha

was praying so desperately hard for a simple song to learn to make it 4 songs to sing as required. the song which i wanted to sleep after hearing became the simplest song and thus fulfilled the 4-song requirement! woohoo!

reflections

pretty much a lot since so many has happened

something unexpected happened to my health which took a turn for the bad. Perhaps i'm forced to do so to stop myself from overindulging in too many things. But it's not fair when i want to have some fun too.

aargh