i feel

i'm going crazy

i dun wan commitments, i hate them for now..perhaps it's because i think people are putting obligations on me when actually they are not - i have the right to choose how i want to react - or whether i want to react to any unseen obligation

friendship can be a burden when someone puts an obligation on me

and smses...i'm not really keen on them right now...maybe bcos i need the time to focus on my exam

i'm rushing myself too much

St John Vianney @ Church of the Holy Cross Singapore

http://www.serrasingapore.org/event_Y4PHC_Oct09.html

you need to scroll down to "Year For Priests @ Holy Cross Programmes" to see the programmes

Church of the Holy Cross
450 Clementi Avenue 1
Singapore 129955
Tel 67775858
Fax 67735676

counselling

only takes place when there's a significant change in my life...which i'm struggling to come to terms with it. i'm really forced out of my comfort zone into many unknown n struggling zones which will lead ultimately to the worst non-comfort zone - something that i wish it'll never happen..but somehow i've to come to terms with it..yet i wish it wouldn't happen

it's been

long since i blog here

i'd realised i can do so many very basic things without thinking - very naturally

it was then i remembered that my counsellor told me that my basic mechanisms had been seriously affected by the many traumas that i'd gone through

it was counselling that helped me to realise things, even Coffee Bean and morning snacks. There are many more things that i'd realised

but most amazingly is that i could do basic things so naturally that i wonder if it's true, that i start doubting myself. but it's the truth that i can now

i'm like a baby starting to crawl..

must

totally guilty of what i've done..Confession is a must

i told God too, that if i can't find a jpb within this period of time it means that i've failed my previous subject. Somehow i feel that if i pass i wouldn't be satisfied, cos i dun think i did my best for it

but if i pass it'll be good, less one subject. Cos this current subject isn't as easy as i'd thought it'd be

another one..

the earth just lost one of its good servants

from the time i was running around til he was still around to a certain extend i kinda miss him. To me cancer didn't take him down but it was God who Decided that it was Time for him to go back Home

We miss u, we pray with u as u walk on the final journey

Always remembered

bye Fr R

din get to say goodbye to Fr Renckens..his passing passed me by, i wasn't informed. i was only informed of a extremely popular Priest's situation

being a kid i couldn't remember Fr Renckens much. All i could remember was the usual weekends where normally he would celebrate Mass. Come to think of it, i can't remember if i had even went to him for Confession

but what struck me was that in February this year he already knew his "Way of the Cross" had begun! Does that mean he knew he was going to 'go'?! However being not a frequent goer to where Fr was based i didn't know anything about his ailment until a (very) later time because he was still moving around although with a little hobble over to another Church and spoke like any ordinary day from the pulpit - not long after his serious operation - or was it operationS?! *faint*

As months passed cancer had confined him to bed, his journey was ever more painful and his request for prayers grew even more frequent..as if he knew he was going but it was just a matter of time..?

i thought he was alright and my days hadn't been easy for me too so i din check the forum. It was Paps' blog which i'd always surf by that i learnt of Fr R's passing. Surfed by the forum - ah, he passed away last Fri and there was a memorial service with visitations days before the service

i feel terrible not being able to know anything but somehow am in the comfort that Father may know that there's this one soul who's earnestly praying and thinking of him. And maybe this passed me by maybe because to remind me that his journey's not over yet? That he still needs prayers before he could look down at us from Heaven - and perhaps remember this soul that used to play with the animals in the - "farm" - as i call it still remembers him

thus my tribute to Fr R

remember
much
i cannot
yet absence
hurts in my heart

sadly missed by all
fondly spoken by all
but i know you'll look down at us
in Heaven
where you stand tall X3